In his book ‘The Dilbert Principle’, author and cartoonist Scott Adams writes “The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management”.
Anyone who has spent a reasonable amount of time in a corporation will vouch for or at the very least, empathise with Adams’s satirical view of the corporate world. While I can’t claim to have undergone the wrenching experiences that Adams may have (which in turn perhaps inspired him to create the iconic Dilbert) I have had my fair share of eclectic managers and bosses. I thought it will be interesting to put out a checklist of manager traits that should set alarm bells ringing. In other words, you are likely in trouble if your manager is any of the following:
1. The PowerPoint enthusiast
As the name suggests this manager loves to make presentations. He is an expert at using tools such as PowerPoint. The trouble is that instead of using tools to effectively communicate his subject matter, he uses them to make up for lack of subject matter. The thinking is simple—“I’ll dazzle you with so many slides, graphs and images that you will not realise that in fact I had nothing worthwhile to say”.
For instance, watch out for managers who make presentations on annual revenue projections wherein a 50% jump in revenue is projected with absolutely no clues as to the strategy or plans that will be deployed to achieve the projected growth.
2. The Sir Humphrey Appleby clone
In the legendary BBC comedy ‘Yes Minister’, Nigel Hawthorne plays Sir Humphrey Appleby, a bureaucrat who is skilled at talking nineteen to the dozen without committing to anything. There’s a cult of managers who model themselves on Appleby.
A manager of this variety often sits on the fence when faced with an executive decision. However, he does ramble endlessly making liberal use of jargon, leaving his subordinates thoroughly confused on the apt course of action. Should things work out well, the manager swoops in to claim credit; on the contrary i.e. in the event of things going wrong, subordinates take the flak for failing to follow instructions.
3. The Teflon manager
This manager has turned passing the buck into an art form. He will typically thrive in a workplace wherein there are multiple reporting lines (and expectedly multiple teams/departments too), so that he has several targets to point fingers at. To be fair to him, he spares no corner of the universe while attributing failure; should he run out of elements inside the organisation, he will point to external factors such as markets, regulations, technology and competition to justify why he missed the mark.
The ‘Teflon’ approach is on display while dealing with subordinates too; for example, juniors complaining of poor compensation despite achieving targets, will be convinced that the CFO and the HR department are to blame.
4. The Headquarters specialist
You will find this manager in an offshore location away from the headquarters. His claim to fame is mastering the art of ‘headquarters management’. The manager couldn't be bothered about trivialities such as poor sales numbers, employee turnover or the fact that competitors have stolen the march over his enterprise.
Instead, he focuses all his time and effort on managing relationships with the who’s who at the headquarters (HQ). He latches onto each and every initiative launched by the HQ, even if it’s not relevant to his office. If you spot a manager who has won accolades for a project on ‘client satisfaction’ at a time when his office has lost clients by the dozens, you've met the quintessential HQ specialist.
5. The ‘Because I Said So’ manager
This one’s my favourite: a manager with the God complex, who would like you to believe that his presence on planet Earth is for the betterment of mankind. In any given situation, his modus operandi is frightfully simple—do what I say, because I said so. In his dealings, there’s no room for inconsequential things such as ideation, reasoning and common sense. Don’t be surprised if he constantly expects you to deliver the most inconceivable results with no resources, and then celebrates every time you fail.
Scratch the surface and you will discover that his driving force is good old fashioned ‘insecurity’. His outward grandstanding notwithstanding, deep inside the manager is acutely aware of his own shortcomings vis-à-vis his subordinates. However instead of utilising a skilled team to his advantage, he chooses to put them down at every given opportunity.
